Age-proofing an older relative’s living space, figuring out powers of attorney, spotting and dealing with signs of dementia, asking them to give up the car keys or consider assisted living . . . the first step toward tackling these concerns and more is an honest, informed discussion.

Here are prompts and road maps for twenty-seven essential conversations—with your parent, other family members, and health care providers—including:

• Does my parent need help around the house?
• What kind of medical issues should we look out for?
• Do I really need to help my parents if they’re toxic?
• How can my family share the caregiving load?

How to approach these topics is just as important as what needs to be said, so each chapter has tips for navigating complex emotions and finding shared ground when everyone has different ideas. You’ll get informed, have a productive discussion, and make a plan—so you can get back to making the most of your time with your parent.

Laura Tamblyn Watts is the CEO of CanAge, Canada’s national seniors’ advocacy organization. She teaches Law and Aging at the University of Toronto and has worked as a lawyer defending the rights of older people. Tamblyn Watts is also a regular media guest and keynote speaker on aging issues. She lives in Toronto, Canada.

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Debra Whitman is AARP’s chief public policy officer. An economist, expert on aging issues, and author of the forthcoming book The Second Fifty: Answers to the 7 Big Questions of Midlife and Beyond, she leads her team in all aspects of policy development, analysis, research, and global thought leadership to help communities, lawmakers, and the private sector improve our lives as we age.

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"As an international leader in aging, Laura Tamblyn Watts invites us to join her on a journey supporting the older adults in our lives. Her vital questions and practical tips help us navigate caregiving with grace, humor, dignity, love, and joy. As I discuss what’s next with my own aging mother, this book is a lifeline filled with sample scripts and pragmatic charts. And as a lifelong advocate for survivors of abuse, I appreciate how this book addresses topics like elder and sexual abuse head on, with compassion and sensitivity. I wholeheartedly recommend this guide to the current and next generations of care providers and family members."

Bonnie Brandl, founder and former director of the National Clearinghouse on Abuse in Later Life (NCALL)

"This is a profound, astute book that resonates with readers from all walks of life. It provides unique insights on our aging population and brings the realities so many families are facing to the surface, offering a strong foundation for engaging in a conversation that we all need to have. It’s real, it hits home, and it’s on point."

Kahir Lalji, certified professional gerontologist, vice chair of HelpAge Canada, and provincial director of government relations and programs at United Way British Columbia

"Being thrust into the role of caregiver for an aging parent (or two) can be challenging, overwhelming even. There are so many questions and so much fear. Thankfully, Laura Tamblyn Watts provides many of the answers—guiding us from “The Talk’ about moving from the family home to a care home, to the sensitive discussion about whether it’s time to stop driving, to the joys of toileting. This is a book whose practical tips will save you many a sleepless night."

André Picard, health columnist for The Globe and Mail and author of Neglected No More

"With her characteristic wit and panache, Laura Tamblyn Watts had me laughing, shouting, weeping, and reading with my jaw dropped. She tells real, relatable stories and offers concrete actions that all of us can take. I can’t wait to share this book with my friends and family."

Gregor Sneddon, executive director of HelpAge Canada

"This book comes at a significant time as we work toward providing better support for our aging population, and as a new caregiver myself, I relate very strongly to the subjects it covers. Tamblyn Watts includes all the topics that are vitally important to anyone who is caring for an aging parent. She navigates challenging issues with eloquence, demonstrating profound empathy and understanding on each page."

Alex Mihailidis, scientific director of AGE-WELL and professor at the University of Toronto