The groundbreaking #1 national bestseller from Barbara Coloroso, one of the world's most trusted parenting educators.

First published over a decade ago, The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander quickly became the definitive guide to bullying prevention and intervention, providing real solutions for a problem that affects young people all over the world. Now, in this thoroughly updated and expanded book, Coloroso helps you recognize the characteristic triad of bullying: the bully who perpetrates the harm; the bullied, who is the target (and who may become a bully); and the not-so-innocent bystanders—peers or siblings who either watch, participate in the bullying or look away, and adults who see bullying as “teasing,” not tormenting, and as “boys will be boys” or as “ girl drama,” not the predatory aggression that it is. In this book you will learn:

• What bullying is and what it isn’t
• The four ways and three means of bullying
• Technology resources and solutions to deal effectively with both online and offline bullying
• Differences and similarities between boys and girls who bully
• Differences between telling and tattling, reporting and ratting; teasing and taunting; flirting and sexual bullying
• How to read the subtle cues and clues that a young person is being bullied
• What not to do and what you can do to help the one who is bullied
• Seven steps to hold accountable and reform someone who bullies
• Four abilities that protect young people from succumbing to a bully
• Why zero-tolerance policies can equal zero thinking
• Why contempt, not anger, drives bullying, and how to confront this in bullies—and in our culture
• How young people can become a potent force as active witnesses—standing up for their peers, speaking out against cruelty and taking responsibility for what happens among themselves

Drawing on her decades of work with troubled youth and her wide experience with conflict resolution and restorative justice, Barbara Coloroso offers practical and compassionate solutions and gives parents, caregivers, educators and—most of all—young people the tools to break this cycle of violence.

Barbara Coloroso is a bestselling author and for the past 45 years an internationally recognized speaker and consultant on parenting, grieving, teaching, creating deeply caring communities, nonviolent conflict resolution, bullying and restorative justice. She is an educational consultant for school districts, the medical and business communities, the criminal justice system, and other educational associations throughout the world. She has appeared on Oprah, The Early Show, The Today Show, CBC, BBC and NPR, and has been featured in The New York Times, Time, U.S. News & World Report, Newsweek and other national and international publications. Her uniquely effective strategies were developed through her years of training in sociology, special education, philosophy and theology, and field-tested through her experiences as a classroom teacher, university instructor, seminar leader, volunteer in Rwanda and mother of three grown children. Her classic books include Parent’s Guide Award winners kids are worth it! and Parenting Through Crisis. She lives in Littleton, Colorado.

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