A high-adrenaline story of what it really means to man up.

Seventeen-year-old Ren Adams feels lucky to be living with his brother, Levi, and Levi’s girlfriend, Ellie — a welcome escape from his mother and her fundamentalist husband. Ren finally feels able to breathe, even if Levi and Ellie insist on trying to RENovate him, make him push his limits, live up to his potential — “man up” … whatever that means.

Ren does his best to keep up — until Levi is killed in an avalanche on one of their follow-the-leader dares. Overcome with grief, Ren feels unmoored, while Ellie embraces new risks and adventures, and tries to pull Ren into her orbit. He cannot resist her wattage, and when she comes to his bed one night, he stops trying.

The next morning, Ellie has disappeared. Ren throws himself into full Ren-to-the-rescue mode — out of love, brotherly loyalty, guilt or grief? He doesn’t quite know. His search is by turns enlightening and reckless, as he discovers that there is no map for becoming a man.

Key Text Features

Biographical information

chapters

dialogue

literary references

TOM BIRDSEYE is the author of nineteen books for young readers, including fiction, picture books and nonfiction. His books have won or been a finalist for state children’s choice awards forty-three times and have been recognized by the International Literacy Association, the National Council for the Social Studies, the Oregon Library Association and the Oregon State Literacy Association. Tom is faculty emeritus in the Writing for Children and Young Adults MFA program at Vermont College of Fine Arts. He lives in Corvallis, Oregon.

Tom Birdseye's profile page

Few writers have the talent to convey [emotion] so beautifully, clearly, metaphorically, even unexpectedly.

CM: Canadian Review of Materials

A great example of teen fiction written to help deal with loss and finding oneself in the aftermath.

School Library Journal

An unusually raw, frank bildungsroman.

Kirkus Reviews