"Death is probably inevitable, assuming I fail in my attempts to transfer my consciousness into this Roomba. Note to my descendants: When I spin in three tight circles, that means I want a grilled cheese sand- wich." -- Scott Feschuk

The future holds many unknowns: advances in medical technology, increased airport security and critical new inventions like sentient, polygraph-enabled, wireless toasters. Luckily, Maclean's columnist Scott Feschuk has written a survival guide -- part how-to manual, part product guide, part apocalypse analysis and part sardonic observation -- to help us navigate these troubled times. Or at least make us laugh while we try.

The Future and Why We Should Avoid It envisions the daunting, depressing era we have to look forward to with the best of Feschuk's musings on aging, death, technology, inventions, health and leisure. "The Mid-Life Crisis" offers suggestions on choosing your own personal physical manifestation of crippling self-doubt and fleeting mortality. He notes that many of them have been done before, but as you get older and your memory deteriorates, you won't remember that you’re being cliched. He hypothesizes on what Apple might come up with next: the iCap? iSnuggie? Or maybe iCouch, a response to Google Heinie, the only other platform that allows you to update Facebook with your ass? And finally, in "What's Killing Us Now?," Feschuk imagines how the world might end. Suitably dramatic possibilities include rogue strangelets from the Hadron Collider, The Rapture, collision with a giant asteroid and solar flares (alternately described by scientists as "solar climaxes" and "coronal mass ejections," making this the dirtiest-sounding doom).

Combining quizzes, voiceovers and speeches, and employing snark, innuendo, toilet humour and shameless mockery -- because how else do you cope with the fact that one day you will die? -- Feschuk contemplates the fate of humanity and the planet in the upcoming years, poking fun, provoking thought and dredging up silver linings in even the darkest forecasts.

Scott Feschuk is the author of two previous books, Searching For Michael Jackson's Nose (McClelland Stewart, 2003) and How Not to Completely Suck as a New Parent (McClelland Stewart, 2004, with Paul Mather). He is the two-time winner of the Gold Award for Humour at the National Magazine Awards and has written for Maclean's, Sportsnet, the Globe and Mail, National Post and This Hour Has 22 Minutes. Feschuk was also chief speechwriter for former Prime Minister Paul Martin.

Scott Feschuk's profile page

"Feschuk is the country’s funniest wise guy...his new book The Future And Why We Should Avoid It -- is every bit as delightful as his magazine columns...Feschuk takes a sardonic yet sobering look at what’s over the horizon for our tech-obsessed culture...Feschuk has an easy, conversational style underpinned by deadpan wit...My personal plan for the future is to read everything Feschuk writes -- a strategy I think of as Guffawing Through the Apocalypse. You probably could use more laughter in your life. This book is a great place to find it."

Ottawa Citizen

"When he straddles the line between completely ludicrous and actually real, The Future and Why We Should Avoid It is gut-bustingly hilarious...It's Feschuk's sense of outrage and bafflement at the folly of humanity that make this book such an enjoyable read...The Future and Why We Should Avoid It is a hilarious read that makes for great light reading or a solid Christmas gift for your curmudgeonly uncle."

The Western Gazette

"Feschuk, a columnist for Maclean's, infuses humour and mockery into his idea of what the fate of humanity holds. Buckle down and get ready for satirical look at our modern day world."

Ottawa Life Magazine

"Have you heard about the terrific new book called The Future and Why We Should Avoid It? I can’t recommend it highly enough -- though I’m going to keep trying because it’s my book and I need the royalties to fix a hole in my porch. For more on this exciting masterwork that critics could theoretically describe as "humanity's greatest achievement, and that includes pajama jeans, I have reached the author (i.e. me) at his/my home in Ottawa, 19 years into the future..."

Maclean's

"I dare you to read The Future and Why We Should Avoid It in public. If you do, prepare to stifle spontaneous giggles, smirks, and bursts of laughter as you try not to draw attention to yourself...a witty analysis of what is to come based on the current innovations in these fields...Feschuk has a distinct sense of humour and a casual, incisive writing style that grabs the reader right from the opening paragraph and holds their attention throughout. It’s easy to see why he is a two-time winner of the Gold Award for Humour at the National Magazine Awards..."

The SFU Peak

"Scott Feschuk is an extremely funny guy...the book is an entertaining miscellany of social satire..."

Quill & Quire