I don’t know about you, but I’ve got better things to think about than weighing my food or calculating the calories I burned during a spin class. When you are taking care of your health intuitively and automatically, you can save your precious brain power for shit like running for office, closing the gender wage gap…or just enjoying a damn meal with your family without worrying about “being good” or “following rules.” Let me tell you—eating without all that bullshit is so much more delicious.
And that’s what I want for you—a delicious quality of life in every way. Because of the healthy habits I’m about to teach you in this book, I now have a body that I’m thrilled with. And not in a fakey-fakey, “I love my tummy because it’s a reminder of the fact that my body carried two beautiful kids” type of way but in a “who wants to see a million pictures of me in my bikini?” type of way. But the real gift is a brain that is completely uncluttered with thoughts about “how to lose belly fat fast.” It’s fucking rad.
I certainly didn’t start out this way. If you told my twenty-year-old self that I would become a fitness expert, I would have tripped over my platform boots and dropped my cigarette. I am not one of those fitness professionals who came out of the womb doing cartwheels and swinging a shiny ponytail through life. More of a participation ribbon kind of kid. While other kids were running around the schoolyard, I would have been hiding in a bathroom stall reading Harriet the Spy.
As I blossomed into womanhood, I decided that I liked beer, Whoppers with extra mayo, and guys who wore capes and eyeliner (but that’s another story). Point being that by the time I hit my late twenties, I was sedentary, puffy, and unhealthy. I felt uncomfortable every time I sat down because my waistband cut into my belly. I’d always be picking my shirt away from me so people wouldn’t see my rolls. There was no way I’d wear a bathing suit in front of my friends, no matter how inviting the pool looked. In group photos, I’d always go to the back and try to hide half of my body behind someone else. I was always bigger than my boyfriends in an era where “waif” and “heroin chic” were what was considered hot. (I mean, WTF, right?!)
I know what some of you are thinking: Cry me some first-world tears. I’m not saying my life was a Greek tragedy or anything; I’ve never been obese or faced the kind of discrimination and health problems that obese people face. But I was always thinking: If only if I could lose ten, twenty pounds, everything would be so much better. Whenever I’d schedule an upcoming event, I would start to scheme about how I could lose ten pounds before the big day.
So, I tried all these things (familiar, anyone?):
• I tracked my food.
• I ate low fat.
• I did yoga.
• I had meal replacement shakes.
• I didn’t eat past 8:00 p.m.
• I skipped breakfast.
• I drank nothing but lemon water with cayenne and maple syrup for ten days.
• I tried diuretic teas to release (ahem) “water weight.”
• I made cabbage soup.
• I ran a half marathon.
• I ate nothing but salad.
• I ate nothing but meat and butter and cream because carbs were bad.

And year after year, I got fatter.
Not only fatter, but I was exhausted from all the effort. Worst of all, I was unhappy with my body and mad at myself for not being able to just lose the weight. So I drank too much wine and smoked too many cigarettes. Every time I saw a picture of myself I thought, That can’t be me. It was impossible that I was that girl in the mirror. And I was so pissed at myself for not being able to nip it in the bud. I was smart and generally accomplished… Why wasn’t I able to make myself do this?! I would punish myself for “being undisciplined” by skipping meals or doing longer workouts. I signed up for a really expensive gym membership with orange slices and fancy lotions in the change rooms because I thought that if it was really expensive that would force me to go and get my money’s worth. (It didn’t, by the way. I walked in, felt like the only person there who wasn’t already in amazing shape, tried to get a machine to work, and didn’t know what I was doing. Walked out. That visit cost me $300.)
So it wasn’t that I wasn’t trying. I was trying really hard. And I bet you’ve tried really hard. It is not your fault if this shit hasn’t worked.It’s nothing to be ashamed of if you’ve been caught up in the weight-lossroller coaster. Most importantly, don’t you go hatin’ on yourself if you think about this stuff too much and you think you should be above it all.
The weight-loss industry marketing cycle is a powerful force that is worth $66 billion. (That’s a B, y’all. We are talking serious coin here.) And all that weight-loss hype is making us all fatter (and sadder). But the good news is that by picking up this book, you are politely excusing yourself from that $66 billion party and instead have already started making a huge shift toward developing healthy habits, mental freedom, and a totally slammin’ body.
Imagine this: You wake up with tons of energy. Probably didn’t even need the alarm clock. You easily slip into clothes you love and you are totally happy with what you see in the mirror. You spend the day feeling energized, clear-headed, and positive. You can eat anything you want but you automatically choose the healthy food that makes you feel good and satisfied and you never ride that wave between starving and stuffed. The ripple effect of your healthy habits has been fantastic.
You are in a better mood for your family, you have more confidence at work. You feel kind of sexy for the first time in about fifteen years and the effect on your relationship has been…um…how shall we say…fucking hot. Not only that, but your whole family has started to shift their habits along with you. Your kids are better behaved, and your husband has more energy and seems younger. (Ahem. See above re: relationship.) You’ve got a little extra money in your pocket because you aren’t flushing it down the toilet on expensive supplements (literally…you think your pee is naturally that color?). Best of all—you’ve got all this extra time and brain space that you used to spend tracking your macros and trying to burn off extra calories at the gym. Now you can spend that time hanging out with your girlfriends, starting a business, saving the whales, or whatever the fuck you want to do with your life.