Mulligans, holes-in-one, men vs. women, impossible shots... the best way to deal with your golf addiction is to laugh at it: * One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sheer nightie. ''Tie me up,'' she purred, ''and you can do anything you want.'' So he tied her up and went golfing. * Did you hear the one about the wife who got hit in the head with a golf ball on the first hole and died? The husband was so distraught he only played the front nine. * Q: What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? A: Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards. * Wife: You think so much about your golf game you don't even remember when we were married. Husband: Of course I do, dear. It was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt. * The difference between golf and tennis is that tennis is murder -- you just want to kill the other player -- but golf is suicide -- you just want to kill yourself.

Arpon Basu had said since the age of eight that he would one day make the National Hockey League. Any chance of that happening, came to a crashing halt when, at 15 when he realized he was completely devoid of any talent. He earned a graduate journalism degree from Concordia University and went straight to a sports-writing job with the Canadian Press. The first time he walked into the Montréal Canadiens dressing room as a giddy cub reporter, Basu nearly fell over as it dawned on him that, despite his ineptitude on the ice, he had in fact been telling the truth as a dreamy-eyed eight-year-old.Basu covers sports for the Canadian Press in Montréal and writes a weekly sports column for the Montréal Gazette. He is also editor of Montréal’s South Shore, The St-Lambert Journal.

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