Canadian sport is the brunt of many jokes, but Canucks take the jabs in stride and still find the humour in what's laughable from the ice to the water to the field and the court: * The head coach of the Toronto Raptors asked one of his forwards, ''Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?'' The player replied, ''I don't know and I don't care!'' * Q: Why did the Toronto Argonauts quarterback never have a phone installed in his home? A: Because he'd never be able to find the receiver. * A priest was walking along the beach in Nova Scotia when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore with a rope. ''That's what I like to see,'' said the priest. ''A man helping his fellow man.'' As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, ''Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing!'' * And so much more!

Arpon Basu had said since the age of eight that he would one day make the National Hockey League. Any chance of that happening, came to a crashing halt when, at 15 when he realized he was completely devoid of any talent. He earned a graduate journalism degree from Concordia University and went straight to a sports-writing job with the Canadian Press. The first time he walked into the Montréal Canadiens dressing room as a giddy cub reporter, Basu nearly fell over as it dawned on him that, despite his ineptitude on the ice, he had in fact been telling the truth as a dreamy-eyed eight-year-old.Basu covers sports for the Canadian Press in Montréal and writes a weekly sports column for the Montréal Gazette. He is also editor of Montréal’s South Shore, The St-Lambert Journal.

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